46. My darling village - i carry you in my heart.

Time to say goodbye.. the past year has been incredible - so sad to leave, but happy and excited for the new adventures to come.. and as the good ol Dr Seuss says,"Don't cry because it's over,smile because it happened."

“This place Is not for everyone. Not for most people. But it is for you.” – Pelin, my Turkish delight, about Klong Sao, the village within the village area Bangkahn.

And how right she was. To live that way, with the local people, adapt to their culture, speak their language, kill spiders and scorpions on a weekly basis, eat their food (trust me it is not Pad Thai.) One time I was eating something, and it tasted odd so I asked what is was, “Arey na?” (Pi Oi mimes a rabbit) I immediately spat it onto my plate. Pi Oi protests,”Mai!! Baby aroy.” (NO! Baby rabbit is delicious.) OMG I just tasted a bunny. I’d rather drink a boiled cockroach – which I did and walked around looking like id just eaten shit – which is just what I felt like. Or the time when they were eating buffalo and I declined and said id just stick to the other meat, and was then presented with lumps of pigs fat. “Hmmmm aroy mak mak.” Very delicious. :/ That day was actually the first day I said righto! I’m going to buy some bloody fish – and did, and then when Pi Oi took them she just threw them into the pot, ”Kap kun ka.” (Thank you) I was standing there all horrified asking why she didn’t gut them first. What a stupid question. You don’t waste a thing.

But in saying this, I did love most of the food – very spicy – just up my alley and juicy – Miss fatness herself is sitting on my lap to prove it.

Anyhoo, I didn’t have to try. To try to be ok with all of it, I was more than ok with it – I loved it. We were the perfect fit, right from the start. It all came so naturally to me.

But that is not to say I didn’t have my moments of loneliness – homesickness overcame me a few times – being in that village made home seem that much further away – as if it might be on another planet and I might not be able to get back. And the sponge bathing thing was probably my worst part. I missed the comfort of a shower – any kind of shower – cold water only? MAI PEN RAI!! (no worries)But thankfully, for the most part, more than for the most part – it was perfection. And it taught me so much about people and life – more than any of my travels in between could possibly touch, even in India.  I think living in a place as opposed to visiting it will do that though. As selfish as this may sound – I know that the biggest thing that I learnt and take from Klong Sao and all the wondrous people who live in it – is a love and understanding and appreciation for and of myself - that I didn’t have before I got there. I’ve always been a confident happy go lucky person but in the last few years in Cape Town I lost an inner confidence, and while outwardly I was still intact – the picture wasn’t so pretty from the inside (as far as myself worth and perspective went)

Thai people have a “no skaam” J attitude. They will tell you exactly what they think of you, inside and out – and drill it and drill it – luckily for me they thought I was a bit of alright ;) Except for getting fat on white rice – they had lots to say about that, “Mai pen Rai Megan Uan. (pats my cheeks)  suwai.” Don’t worry that your fat - your face is beautiful. Or when Pi Oi told me that if I was thin I would be beautiful, and when I asked what I am now she said, fat but don’t worry tomorrow we diet. The running joke. And when they saw pictures of my sister they looked at me with such pity.. ah!! The audacity! But then in that moment of wondering where the biggest head bashing rock could possibly be sleeping, I realized I didn’t care.. it didn’t matter – after all the comments on my hair – they like clean cut straight hair – not by birds nest (as my students so graciously put it.) and don’t even show them my hippy outfits – they go to town on them - Joan Rivers would be impressed. My freckles weirded them out and if you forget to pluck you eyebrows or don’t bother to shave your legs – just don’t bother leaving the house. But your skin gets thick, and in turn you’ll find yourself feeling rather amused by it all. And this is a very good thing, and I certainly didn’t change for anyone – I didn’t wear sparkly tops filled with sequenced writing saying things like, ”Rush me to the general hospital.” Lol.. one of the Thai teachers wore one like that but of coarse she had no idea what it said. Or paint my face white and glue glittery plastic nails onto my fingers, wear huge wedded spice up your life heels, or massive bows on my head. I stayed me, feral as I may be to them – and I guess if I wasn’t gonna change for them, no one’s got a home of changing me in the future ;) I know who I am and am comfortable being that person, even if I’m the odd one out or the ugly duckling as they sometimes thought my style to be ;)

But they sure did love me, and like I said – they drilled that love all day, every day until one day I found myself thanking them without feeling uncomfortable with the compliment, just accepting it graciously and moving onwards.. suddenly I thought, ”Wait now what just happened?” I didn’t flush, or get all weird –more than that - I believed them. And in seeing myself through their eyes, I got my “ness” back. I feel comfortable within myself – more than I have ever felt in my life, I’m confident and happy – calm and super relaxed – at ease.. I know, love and understand myself more than I ever have before. I’m happy. I am so grateful for my life, ah! I love my life, and I love being me in it! :) It took a village to get me to this place, and for that I am eternally grateful!  Now it’s up to me to remember and hold onto everything they gave and taught me – and make no mistake – I will be back there in a few years to see my friends and family again.

I honestly love them all with all my heart – it was devastating to say goodbye.. I was gutted. We all were, but as my mum said to me, ”Isn't that wonderful? Imagine not feeling that way..imagine that.” And she’s quite right. Feeling this devastation speaks volumes of the experience I’ve been lucky to have had there with them all. A life changing, funtastical and heart stopping adventure of a life time. Many people have said to me, wow you have really changed their lives and brought them so much joy and so forth..and sure.. I know I did, but they did so much more for me.. everyone inside and outside of the school, parents and brothers and sisters of students, the local cooks and vendors – all my friends.. and those damn kids.. ah! My babies..  i have no words do describe everything i got out of my time with them! All these people taught me so much about love, life, gratitude, satisfaction and kindness.. I hope i gave them a smidgen of what they have given me because it's a beautiful thing! It is because of them that I am a stronger, happier, and more capable person – who now knows EXACTLY what I want to do with my life - but that’s a whole nutha essay;) so I won’t go there today J

Today..I’m going to go to Cambodia. And keep a promise I made to one of my darling friendies in Klong Sao. Pi Ry told me to “Garuna stay same Megan Pi Ry Ru.” – Stay the same Megan that she knows. “Kit same grandmother te sanuk sanan same anuban.”

So going into this next adventure I intend to do her proud – think like a granny but play like a baby..

Looking forward to it J