49. Phnom Pen - Cambodian blues.. and reds and several shades of *&%$#@ ed up :P

Woooha

So one week in Phnom Pen.. fun was had by all J What a crazy hostel, in a crazy city, in a crazy country. Cambodia is a weird country. A very strange place, that Cambodia. The history is devastating, as is the state of the country at the moment, still riddled with so much corruption and in justice – the second in command to Pol Pot is now the leader of Cambodia? How does that even happen? In South Africa we have this sort of ongoing (will it ever end) stuff and I haven’t seen it again elsewhere until Cambodia. I mean it is everywhere but not in an “in your face” way like this. And the paradox of being there is weird too – you’ll find yourself investigating the killing fields and genocide museum by day and then firing an AK-47 and drinking copious amounts of beer - ending up at a “ladies bar” by night. It’s very strange indeed. It made me think of people like my father, who were out there seeing these terrible things happen first hand and then drinking a beer with your friends afterwards – chatting about some show on you tube or something stupid a friend said that evening. At first I couldn’t, I was so shattered by everything I saw and learnt that I needed some space and time to get my bearings back but before I knew it I was back in the game, laughing and entering the next beer competition. Strange indeed.  Also almost every shop is run by an NGO for drug or sex trafficking, orphaned children, landmine victims and the general poor. This is a very good thing and I’m certainly happy to support but it’s an odd thing – and I’m at a loss to explain why.

There are also so many scams and traps laid on tourists that will leave the hair on your neck standing frozen. One guy came up to me and asked if I could please change dollars for his 100 rand note. How on earth did this dude know I was from South Africa, and how long had he followed me for in order to ask that question? Perhaps for the last twenty minutes since I was chatting to that lady at the fruit stand and told her where I was from? Creeeeeeepy. And if your reading mummy darling, no I did not exchange anything with him – I don’t know who would or who could be so stupid but it obviously happens otherwise he wouldn’t be doing it. And some stories are so bad, this one guy was taken to a local families house and eventually was caught up in a really bad situation and had to empty out his bank account (at gun point)it’s unreal but happens all the time. And my pony tail was literally just CUT OFF!! I’m still beyond devastated and feel so silly to feel that way since it’s just hair – not my entire back account or anything – but afterwards when I was told,”Ah. They are probably wanting to sell it. Lots of Gangs do that in hairdressers.” I was livid. So weird to think that that day I was looking at my hair and thinking how good it was looking – seems it looked even better that I thought. Anyway – I’m officially tying it up and will wait for mummy dearest to tell me what to do. Until then, it’s hot anyway so as long as I don’t think about it – who’s to know I have a hacked up head of hair that once was as one fellow traveler said,”Such full,lustrous hair.” Whatever. I’m alive and very well and so.. never mind then J

Needless to say it was a mad week – overloaded with tragic info of mass murderings and a history that could make a stone sob – and endless parties and madness in brothels – meeting crazy people and going to weird parties. I certainly stayed at a mad place, Velkommen Guest house – were beer is served for breakfast ;) But I still did the touristy things and had a great time there! I am definitely going to save the juicy details for my dearest back home – but let’s just say the evenings were filled with firsts for most, and moments of WTF were not far behind,”Excuse me, I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but your friend just fell out of the window.” (3 stories down that is.) It’s mass madness you maniacs! I’m happy I went there – and have a box load of memories to go through as I wish, but I too – was happy to move on and chill out on a hammock for a while.

Cambodia was a laid back, weird, crazy, sad and fun time – I’m happy I went but I don’t I think I’d like to go back. No I don’t think so. Some places you see and enjoy but then you’re done, and others will you to come back before you’ve left.  I’m not sure what I thought Cambodia was going to be, or if it was a place that I loved or didn’t. I do know that when I arrived I did – I LOVED Siem Reap, and the country side of Battambang and the villages were all veeery attractive - green, lush and all the rest that is to be expected :) but by the end – having seen much more, and getting an understanding of the people and the place - I don’t know why, but the country as a whole is not on my list of favourites or must get back to’s. Chatting to a lady yesterday who’s just come from a retreat in India - she put it so well,”Cambodia is funny place. It gave me a very funny feeling. I was there for six days and that was enough.” But as the saying goes, different strokes for different folks, a fellow travelling friend Andie (the one who fell out of the building) loves Phnom Pen, has been there for a month now.. with no intentions of going anywhere, anytime soon.. 

Anyhoo.. time for some Lao time :)

48. My new friend Jack

Ok so I met this Brittish fella Jack “from the wrong side of London.” In Siem Reap – and had a good week there and continued the journey together to Battambang where we stayed for four eventful nights, on our first day we linked up with Koen from Belgium who does yoga and meditation and eats light and healthy – adding an entirely fresh and different person into the mix J Anyhoo the three of us had a whale of a time, eating out and pottering about – which could be anything from  looking at the odd temple or waiting to see the guy who had just hacked part of his head up on a fan in his room and was being taken to hospital, or checking out a Khmer rouge massacre sight of sorts, the crocodile farm (where one really weird British expat likes to go and poke them with a stick when he’s having a bad day.) I suppose he’s not as weird as the other British ex pat who ran the gay bar in Battambang – and molested Cambodian street kids – he is currently serving a ten year sentence in a Cambodian prison. 

OH! And going to the circus – which was AMAZING – no animals – otherwise I would not have gone but wow – they were brilliant! Definitely a highlight – or perhaps the two nights out were.. Battambang is a small town that goes dead at around 10 or so, but it just kind of happened that after a pub quiz at our hostel Jack and I joined another girl and her friend – who was a tuk tuk driver so he drove us all out to a brothel where we went to sing kareoke – it was so entertaining – and so SO weird J 

Then another night Jack and I hopped on the back of two motorcycles and got taken to this place on the side of the river and drank beers chatting to two gay Khmer dudes, who didn’t speak English but did speak Thai so I was the translator between the Thai and English – which I really enjoyed – made me miss Klong Sao and my friendlies over there so much! Oh, we also went on a Bamboo train ride – literally a plank of Bamboo – with two Serbian lesbians which was really fun (as were the open convos over a few beers afterwards :) And went to a bat cave and the killing caves – where we had the weirdest guide ever – we couldn’t understand anything he said but he was really cute. Funny lil dude, and it’s pretty obvious what you’re looking at anyway so it didn’t really matter (a slaughter cave  used by the Khmer rouge.) The thing is in Cambodia, what we have found anyway is that unlike places like Indo or Malaysia, Thailand or India, there is not much to do here or many places to go – there are a few key spots and then for the rest of the time you just amble, chill, and do whatever – just be in Cambodia – it’s very relaxing – and still so beautiful – being in a tuk tuk, on the back of a motor bike or in a bus is still something I really love because it is so green and so lush – heart chakra is wide open!

 Koen and I have now left – heading towards Phnom Pen via the floating villages (interesting to see the local life there – no English and all that jazz – you know the drill by now :) Our bus ride (I got my way – he wanted to hitch hike – I wanted a bus – and thankfully this bus did not crash like the other one that decapitated a motorcycle man’s head)And our new found friend Jack is off to Thailand, and I must say I am very sad to have let this Brittish dude go.

And I think you should meet him..

Here he is.. Mr Jack himself :)

MANNERS – the rude pom!

He’s a character all right. I’ve always loved the British accent – it can make the most dull things sound amusing. But Jack has his own language in a sense – and combined with his accent – gets lots of laughs although he cannot understand why. For instance when I had my first meal with this monster eater (more on that in a bit) he turned to the waitress across the room, “Hey! Can we pay.” Lordy. I was shocked and horrified by the rudeness of it all and corrected him saying,”You say Excuse me, can we have the bill please.” And he said,”Why? That takes so long, I don’t think I’m being rude, I just want to give her my money.” And the thing is that whether it’s his tone or accent or both combined, you forgive his manners and laugh instead (although I am also very quick to call for the bill before he does :)

FOOD – monster eating machine!

Boy can this guy eat “I can always eat.” He ate at least four meals a day, and got rather addicted to the chicken Amok“Hmmm, I think I’ll have a chicken Amok.” But of coarse J – he eats so much sometimes “straight from the pot.” That he’ll have to have breaks and drink a liter of warm water to settle his stomach, and then he continues to finish the meal! “When I cook I don’t measure so I just add a little more rice, and then a little more.. because you just don’t know. Then it’s always way too much but I have to finish it.” When Koen, who is very health conscious ordered a fruit salad for lunch and afterwards said how full he was, Jack was agast,”What?? How? You didn’t eat anything! There was space on your plate!”

DRINKING – below ten doesn’t count.

When Koen said, “Oh so we’re having a drinking night again then.” Jack responded, “NO.” (as if this was such a ridiculous thing to say.) “It only turns into a drinking night when you’ve had at least ten beers.”

DOGS – Not the biggest fan.

“I like dogs, but only if they look like dogs, like a Labrador looks like a dog so I’m fine with that. But when it has eyes on the side of it’s head and they’re too big for their sockets ..It’s just a human experiment so I might as well smack it with a spade or throw it in a crocodile pool.”

WINNING – it’s the way he likes it.

Playing in our team at the pub quiz – he took it all very seriously, and when after a round or two we we’re in second place – us girls were squealing with delight and there’s Mr Jack, all matter - of - factly, ”We’re ok, but we can do better.” And when I gave him that incredulous look that he’s become so accustomed to (half shocked - half about to laugh.) He merely shrugs, ”What? I like winning.”

HONESTY – his only policy.

He doesn’t tend to filter things in the same way as most people I know do, he is honest and straight to the point – which too, can be very amusing. For instance waiting for our bus in SIem Reap (this was his first bus – he’s been travelling around on his motorcycle but he sold it just before we left.) – and we had literally only been there for fifteen minutes when he announced, ”This is horrible.” When the waitress brought the food without the bread used to dip into it he declared, “This place is nice but the service is shit.”

After a day in the sun riding our bikes I got rather burnt and he was very quick to point out, ”You got burnt on your chest. That’s not good you’ll end up like one of those gross grannies on the beach with the cracked chests.”

When after one of our big nights out (when we went to the brothel and sang karaoke) I slept in the next day and jack came striding into the dorm, fetched something then as he strides out, he barks back at me,”Get up. It’s late! You’ve been sleeping for ten hours.”

I suppose it goes hand in hand with him being very practical – for instance he only believes things are true if they can be scientifically proven. Or what you see – that’s true for him, so no fortune tellers or past lives for Mr Jack. We were sharing our different experiences with him and he listened politely, waited until we had finished and then just said,”No. I’d have to see that to believe it.”

CHILDREN –No only child allowed.

When I mentioned that unlike me, my sister only wants one child, he argued, “NO! That is just not right, you must have two.” (And there I was agreeing and thinking it’s because of the company you gain with having a sibling..not being lonely and all that jazz, but then Mr Jack continued..in all seriousness, “What if one dies, at least you still have the other one.” Like a spare kid.. :/

COUCH SURFING – a hard host.

(couch surfing being a group website where people host each other for free around the world.)

Jack,”I think I would be a good host. Yeah. But I would definitely need a copy of their passport and I would reserve the right not to talk to them.”

BRITISH PEOPLE – not interested while abroad.

Looking at the check in list at the hostel and seeing all the people from the UK,“Hey. Lots of people from the UK, how boring.”

Later on in conversation, “I don’t like meeting people from the UK, I’ve got nothing to learn from them.”

CAMBODIA – done with meeting people.

When we left him in Battambang he still had one night left but our hostel was full so in discussing where he should check into he said,”I think I’ll get my own room at the Chaya, not stay in a dorm. I’m done with meeting people in Cambodia.”

So that’s that then J

I really hope I see Jack again one day, he’s an interesting, intelligent  character and a heleva funny one – I really have had such a good time over the past twelve or whatever days – and I miss the British giant already! :(

Best of luck to him in the land of Thai and beyond!